Are you in the process of writing a memoir or thinking about writing a memoir? Writing a memoir is more than putting pen to paper. It is also about being comfortable with going deep into your past and writing about the truth.

When you begin writing your memoir, you will have to find fragments of your past and then piece them all together to re-discover what your memoir is really about. This article will help guide you through the whole process of writing a beautiful autobiography that takes readers for an exhilarating ride.

How To Write A Memoir

Memoirs are stories you remember because they are valuable to you. These stories are ones that others can benefit and learn from. Your main goal in publishing a memoir is to share your experiences so others can connect and learn from you. But people can only connect to your past if it is authentic, real, and truthful. Even if the truth pains you. No memoir or autobiography paints a perfect life. All lives have trouble, pain, or hardship and an extraordinary memoir shares how the person overcame those challenges. The following steps will show you how to write your own memoir.

1. Write A Memoir Outline By Matching A Book Outline To Your Writing Style

Before you write any memoir, you will want to begin with a book outline. You’ll want to match a book outline to your writing style and the overall structure. There is no right or wrong way to choose a book outline. Your goal here is to pick a book outline that works for you. Here is another article on ‘How to Outline Your Non-Fiction Book’.

2. Determine The Specific Genre Of Your Memoir

It is important to decide where your book fits within the existing marketplace. Start by researching titles from a number of popular categories and genres to get an idea of the sheer variety of memoirs. Look to see which memoirs are similar to yours and what genre they fit under.

Here are a few genres along with subgenres that your memoir could fit under:

Childhood, Adolescent, and Coming of Age Memoirs

• Family dynamics, dysfunction, drama
• Unique childhood experiences/growing up stories
• School days

Life Experience Memoirs

• Motherhood
• Career
• Incarceration
• Extraordinary stories
• Inspiring tales
• Disease: living with; witnessing; surviving
• Death: witnessing, questioning, living in the aftermath

Relationships Memoirs

• Love
• Dating
• Divorce
• Friendship
• Animal stories

Cultural/Ethnic/Sexuality Memoirs

• Coming-out stories
• Stories of growing up within a particular culture
• African American, Asian American, Southeast Asian-specific stories

Food Memoirs

• Cooking
• Eating
• Inspired by food
• Gardening
• Food movement stories

Travel Memoirs

• Single-destination
• Multiple-destination
• Theme-based travel
• Soul-searching travel

Survivor Memoirs

• Harrowing childhood stories
• War stories
• Abuse (sexual, physical, or emotional)
• Trafficking
• Prostitution

Addiction and Compulsion Memoirs

• Drug or alcohol abuse
• Smoking
• Parents of child with drug or alcohol problem
• Eating disorders
• Body dysmorphia

Emotion Memoirs

• Stories of a single emotion
• Personal interactions with things like time, money, etc.

Spirituality Memoirs

• Spiritual development
• Your experiences with religion
• Finding or losing religion

3. Identify The Types Of Readers Who Will Likely Buy Your Book

Before you write down a single sentence, you need to know who you are writing your memoir for. It is so important to ask why you are writing a memoir and who you think will read it. From there, you can figure out which details and experiences of your life to include in your memoir. You want to make sure that the biography/memoir you are producing will resonate with your target reader.

4. List Several Life Experiences

Open up a Microsoft Word document and list some of the significant life experiences you have had. Here are some phrases that will help you go back down memory lane:
The time I …
How I learned …
Why I don’t…
Where I found …
How I met …

When beginning a memoir, focus on writing one life experience at a time. Don’t rust to share everything at once. You don’t want to tell your whole life story all at once. Instead, you want to share only one or two events at a time.

5. List The Significant Details

Once you know which life experience you want to focus your memoir on, list some of the things that make this event significant. Here are a few prompts to help you get started:

• Who was involved?
• When did it happen?
• Where were you?
• What were you thinking?
• Why do you remember this event?

6. Interview Yourself As A Professional Journalist Would

Treat yourself as an interview subject and ask yourself questions that will trigger stories around the specific life experience you are writing about. You would be surprised about how many memories have slipped beneath the surface.

7. Write Your Memoir

Every memoir has a beginning and an end. I find authors who start writing their memoir with the introduction and the conclusion have a more consistent and strong storyline. Once you have written your introduction and conclusion, it is time to connect the pieces. Write in a way that is comfortable and natural for you. Make it as short or as long as you like – there is no rule book for length.

Once you have connected your introduction to your conclusion, you now have your first draft of your first memoir. The next step is self-editing it a few times before sending it off to a traditional or self-publisher.

Mistakes To Avoid When Writing A Memoir

1. Writing A Memoir Is Not Therapy

Don’t use your memoir as a form of self-therapy. A memoir is not a journal. If you are writing a memoir that is to be published, then you are writing for people. Don’t write information that is for you, write for your audience. This also means don’t write a memoir to get back at someone. Instead, write to share your experiences with the world and to help others learn from you. Focus on writing the lessons you learned through the experiences you want to capture in your book. Think about the main points you want to make in sharing your memoir.

2. Don’t Worry About Hurting People

Of course, we all want to be nice and kind. But don’t dull the arguments to the point where they hurt the story. Remember, you can always tweak names, events, and details, so you don’t expose people who don’t want to be in your book. But don’t ignore a good story because of some sensitive parts.

3. Don’t Confuse Memoir With Autobiography

An autobiography is the story of an entire life. A memoir is just one of the stories from that life. An author can write countless memoirs, but they can only write one autobiography. I find that writing a memoir is much less intimidating if you view it this way.

4. You Are Not The Hero

The characters in your memoir should be as dynamic as the ones you would create or read about in fiction. It can be tempting to paint yourself as the victim or the hero in every chapter and situation, but no one is perfect.

5. There Is No Right Time

Don’t wait for the right time as it will never happen. Memoirs don’t have to be about digging through old photos or about piecing together lost memories. Don’t hesitate to write your memoir because you think you haven’t lived long enough or because you don’t have enough experience. You have a story, and there is a reason why you thought of writing a memoir.

Top 6 Tips For Writing A Memoir

1. Provide Less Detail And More Purpose

Less detail and more purpose means that you should avoid adding information that has no relation to your overarching theme. For example, if your memoir is about nursing a lion back to health, then recounting an argument you had with a friend about their lack of respect is probably not relevant enough to be added to your book. Focus on adding information that is relevant to your target reader.

2. Don’t Begin At The Beginning

Don’t tell your story chronologically. Why? Because it is boring and too predictable. Think of the other memoirs you’ve read- – most never start from the beginning. Instead, memoirs start at an action point or another point of intrigue. A good beginning should be a tease. The beginning gives readers enough action to get them hooked and keep them reading without divulging the outcome right away. Then, the memoir flashes back to the real chronological beginnings and fills in the background.

3. Use All Of Your Senses

The best memoir writers create unique worlds for readers to inhabit as they read. To transport readers inside your book you need to use all of your senses to re-create a moment fully.

5. Work Your Writing Muscle

Writing muscles need to be exercised to perform well. Set a daily writing goal and a regular time. Then be disciplined. Don’t worry about making what you write perfect. Instead, focus on building a good writer’s habit.

6. Be Honest

Being honest throughout your memoir is not a strict rule. For example, you may need to lie about characters’ names to protect their identity. However, you need to be open and honest about how you convey memories. It is easy to ignore our flaws and faults when we examine our past – but don’t. If you neglect your own flaws in the book, your memoir is at risk of sounding biased and self-pitying. Don’t forget that you are writing for your target reader, and they also have imperfections.

50 Of The Best Prompts For Writing A Memoir

• Was there anything different or unique about your birth?
• What is your earliest memory?
• What is your first memory of your siblings, parents, or pets?
• What is your happiest childhood memory?
• What is your saddest childhood memory?
• Did any childhood cartoons impact your later life?
• What were your parents like?
• What event in your childhood had the most impact on your life as an adult?
• What is your first memory about school?
• Was learning to read and write a struggle for you?
• Was learning math a struggle for you?
• Who was your first best friend? How did they influence your life?
• Who was your favorite teacher?
• Who was your least favourite teacher?
• What was your favorite subject in school?
• Did you participate in any extracurricular activities during school?
• What school clique did you belong to?
• What do you wish you would have learned more about in school?
• What schoolmate had the most impact on your life?
• What did you love the most about high school?
• What did you hate the most about high school?
• What were your childhood pastimes?
• What was the first moment you felt truly independent?
• How old were you when you began to drive?
• Who gave you your first kiss?
• Who was your first love?
• What was your first job?
• What was it like moving out of your parents’ house?
• How much was your first pay cheque, and what did you do with it?
• What moment in your life have you felt most loved?
• Have you ever travelled by yourself? What was it like?
• Which one of your parents are you most like?
• Has education played an important role in your life?
• What have you done that you never thought you would do?
• What was the greatest challenge of your life so far?
• What do you wish you had done differently in your life?
• Who do you wish you could see again?
• What word would you most like people to associate with you?
• Who had the biggest influence (positive or negative) on your life?
• How were your belief systems formed? (religion, politics, family, etc.)
• What is great about your life right now?
• How has technology shaped your life in the past 10 years?
• Does your career make you happy?
• What prompted you to go into your current career?
• How many life goals have you attained?
• Do you have any regrets?
• What do you think the future holds for you?
• What will your obituary say about you?
• What are some of the places you have travelled to?
• Write about the most memorable vacation you have been on.

When you follow the guidelines listed in this step-by-step guide to writing a memoir, you will captivate your audience and leave them begging for more. But more importantly, you will share your own authentic story successfully with the world. If you need more help and are looking for a writing coach or looking to self-publish your book, feel free to reach out and book a free consultation.